Last week a journalist queried President Trump about his willingness to forgive. The President paused and acknowledged that he knew the ‘right’ answer was to say that he would forgive those he saw as enemies but then he said – I could not forgive my political opponents Nancy Pelosi and James Comey, “I do hate some of my enemies and I always will.”

Are there people in your past with whom differences remain?
If you answered honestly, would you be able or willing to offer forgiveness? 
That can be one of the hardest choices to make!

Forgiveness matters! In the Lord’s Prayer, we are taught to say – “forgive us our sins, just as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us.”  Then Jesus tells us something that should arrest our attention. “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Matthew 6:12-15, NLT)

Our release from guilt is directly connected to our willingness to forgive those that we believe are indebted to us. We cannot justify our hate, our resentment, our bitterness towards others by saying, “Well, I didn’t kill them; even though I wish I could!”  In another passage Jesus teaches that if we allow ourselves to think of others with contempt, robbing them of their worth and dignity, we cannot know the richness of God’s Holy Presence in our own lives!

I can hear the objections that you are starting to raise.
“But, Jerry, you don’t know that idiot I married; the pain he brought into my life.”
I don’t but I’m sorry, truly.
Or worse, “Jerry, you don’t know how it feels to be the victim of a sexual predator.”
I don’t and my heart breaks for that person who carries such a wound.
“Jerry, you never met my boss. She never lets up on the criticism, making my life miserable.” 
I feel for you, too, really!  

However, the wisdom of Christ Jesus is clear –
when we carry on life while hating the person who hurt us,
refusing to let the debt go,
we miss out on God’s plan to heal us and we choose to live in constant pain.

Jesus says that we, God’s children, can make a different choice – to forgive.
When we come to worship and memory of that old enemy comes to mind, He says, “Deal with it. Don’t put it off.”  We have the ability to choose in the matter of forgiveness. Our decision to forgive others not only gets us out of emotional debt, but it also pleases God. Consider that text I quoted earlier, this time from The Message – “In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can’t get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God’s part.” (Matthew 6:14-15)

WHAT IS REAL FORGIVENESS?

Forgiveness is not minimizing our pain.
It is not pretending that what happened is of no consequence.
It is not trying to just ‘forget it.’ 
When Christians forgive, they release the debt of another to God, trusting His justice.

What does that kind of forgiveness look like?

It is modeled on God’s forgiveness!

God actively pursued sinful humanity. He entered the world, Jesus, God in flesh, to save the world from sin. Love was His sole motive. We forgive for love’s sake, actively letting offense go, and, where possible, pursuing reconciliation.

Forgiveness and reconciliation are different things.

To live in peace with God we receive forgiveness and grace that leads to genuine repentance. 
That allows us to be reconciled to our Father in Heaven, loving Him, knowing Him, living close to Him. Sometimes those we forgive do not change their ways, refuse to respond to our offer of grace. In that situation we need not feel guilty. Forgiveness is an individual’s choice. Reconciliation requires active participation of both the offended and the offender.

Forgiveness cannot be conditional.

Christians sometimes attempt a kind of half-forgiveness. “I’ll just ignore the offender. I won’t try to punish them, but I’ll put them on probation.”  God does not put us on spiritual probation just watching for us to slip up again. The Scripture says that “He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”  True forgiveness does not hold onto the debt or sabotage relationships.

Forgiveness is a process, not an event.

Forgiveness is an individual choice to give our hurt, our sense of debt, to God and trust Him for perfect justice! In that choice, we release the other person discover freedom from our anger. It is possible that we will feel the old hurt again, that the resentment will creep back into our mind. If it does, we forgive again… and again … in Jesus’ words “70×7!”

Dear friend, are you keeping track of some emotional debt, nurturing hate for another?
Do you find your joy sabotaged by resentment towards another, your ability to form loving relationships with people hindered by memories of past hurts? 
Are you feuding with someone, offended by another’s actions, dealing with anxiety over an unresolved dispute?  

Jesus says that the Spirit in us makes a new way possible – the way of forgiveness. It’s not easy, nor is it a ‘once and done’ moment. In the struggle to forgive you may find yourself praying in tears, asking the Holy Spirit to soften your heart. Tell Him how you feel, what you feel, why you think you’re feeling that way.  Choose the path of discipleship, the Jesus Way, and “bless those who curse you!”   When you give the debt you carry to Him, a new sweetness of spirit will grow in you.  You will be free to be loving like our Father in Heaven.

Here’s a word from the Word to ponder today. 
It’s a story Jesus talked about being forgiven and becoming one who forgives.  “Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No!” Jesus replied, “seventy times seven!” “For this reason, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. He couldn’t pay, so the king ordered that he, his wife, his children, and everything he had be sold to pay the debt. But the man fell down before the king and begged him, ‘Oh, sir, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ Then the king was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt.

“But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment. His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and jailed until the debt could be paid in full.

“When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him what had happened. Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ Then the angry king sent the man to prison until he had paid every penny. “That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters in your heart.”  (Matthew 18:21-35, NLT)

What a sobering story. May the Lord lead us to surrender to His way and His will, including the choice to forgive, for God’s sake and own.

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Video at https://www.youtube.com/@JerScott55