CoffeeBreak With The Word

Dr. Henry Cloud, in his book, Integrity, makes this simple statement – “Reality is always your friend.” He tells the story of the CEO of a dog food manufacturing company that was seeing sales fall month after month. New sales executives were brought in. Various extensive and expensive marketing programs were rolled out. Nothing was increasing sales. Finally, a newly hired individual told the CEO the truth – “Dogs don’t like our product.” The reality of the situation was that a new product needed to be developed, not a new sales program.

Being aware of what is going on in our lives and the reality of our situation is something that many of us are not adept at doing.

• Sometimes we are just ignorant of reality. We simply cannot ‘see’ what’s is happening to us because we are too close to it, too enmeshed in events to sort them out and see them for what they are.
• Sometimes we deliberately block reality because it is painful, disappointing, or ugly. We simply refuse to see life for what it is. A parent, for example, who sees their child struggling in school, may be inclined to seek better teachers or a different school because he is unwilling to admit that his child has a learning disability.
• And sometimes we are out of touch because we have spun the story of our life to fit alternative scenario for so long that we now confuse reality and fantasy in our mind. Instead of just admitting that we are where we are, we tell ourselves where we could be, ‘if only’ we had made this choice or that, and then we pretend things are as we wish them to be instead of as they are!

“Reality is always your friend!” is the truth. Why? Because until we are dealing with life as it is, we are shadow boxing, engaging ourselves in useless efforts to maintain a deception. We cannot find solutions or create working strategies until we are living in the real world. The Bible calls this living confessionally. In dealing with our need of God’s salvation, John says, “If we say we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and refusing to accept the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong.” (1 John 1:8-9, NLT) I love the word of the Greek NT text that is translated confess. It is the word, ‘homologeo’ which literally means “to speak the same thing” (homos, “same,” lego, “to speak”), “to assent, accord, agree with,” and indicates a meaning “to confess, declare, admit.” (Vines Expository Dictionary) James calls on us to look at ourselves in a mirror and to remember what we see. Metaphorically, he’s saying, “Face up to reality.”

How do we get ‘in touch?’

A counselor can be helpful. That does not necessarily mean we have to find a psychologist. For most of us, a good friend with a listening ear and the courage to tell us the truth about our life is sufficient. It the old accountability line. We need people in our circle of friends to whom we have given permission to tell the truth to us without facing recriminations. Often when we hear the truth about ourselves, it causes us to feel confused. Why? Because from our side of our eyeballs it just looks different! Robert Burns penned this line – “O would some power the giftie gie us to see ourselves as others see us.” (O would some power the gift to give us to see ourselves as others see us.)

Regular times of contemplation and prayerful meditation are wonderfully clarifying. As we learn to quiet our mind and heart before God, He can speak to us revealing those places in our lives where we are blind to or even refusing the truth about ourselves. As we wean ourselves from constant external stimulation, noise, and diversions- we develop the ability to commune with our heart and with the Spirit of God. In that place we not only discover reality, we find His strength to deal with it and courage to engage in the process of change. This passage from Hebrews can be read either as terribly threatening or as greatly comforting – depending on our desire to know the truth. It says, “God means what he says. What he says goes. His powerful Word is sharp as a surgeon’s scalpel, cutting through everything, whether doubt or defense, laying us open to listen and obey. Nothing and no one is impervious to God’s Word. We can’t get away from it—no matter what.” (Hebrews 4:12-13, The Message) The Spirit of God takes no joy from beating us over the head with the Truth. He wants to use it to bring us wholeness, much as a surgeon uses his scalpel!

Do you regard reality as a friend?
Are there places in your life where you are living a fantasy, making excuses, hiding from the Truth?
Embrace it! Be liberated by moving into the truth. It’s the best place to be for that is where God lives.