A friend for all times

To say that Jim’s (not his real name) life had hit a rough spot would be terrible understatement! If it could go wrong for him, it did.  His wife died suddenly, leaving him with 3 small children and his grief. His job evaporated.  His Mom who helped him with the little ones, died. He nearly became homeless. Are you discouraged for him yet?  In it all, he found himself carrying a very heavy load nearly alone. Talking with Jim made me realize how important it is that we keep a network of friends around us.  In my experience, people tend to under-value this resource more than anything else.  On my way home from Jim’s home, I thanked God for the wide circle of friends that are a part of my life, people that I love and who love me. More than money, more than stuff; my wealth is found in the people in whom I am invested.

Do you think that all you need is Jesus? In a sense that is true. He is a “friend that is closer than a brother.”  But, even those who are close to Christ need people. “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” (Proverbs 17:17, NIV)  A great dinner tastes better when it’s served at a table with a friend. A heavy burden is lighter when there is someone who cares.  A renowned psychologist said that his profession would barely exist if people maintained strong ties to friends and family. He provides, for a fee, what people once gave to one another freely:  advice, support, a listening ear, and reinforcement for sound choices.

Perhaps you’re reading this and remembering the failures of friendship!  Yes, I have experienced those, too. I wince with something like physical pain when I think of those hurt by my actions.  And, I have a few memories of people who betrayed or abandoned me along the way.  There are those with whom I shared the things of the Lord who have moved on and out of my life. I miss them, wonder how they are doing, and hope for restoration someday in Heaven. I will not become a Lone Ranger, carefully protecting my heart from pain by shrinking my circle of friends.  I take Jesus’ counsel about forgiveness seriously! I refuse to hate or hold a grudge, knowing that if I do, I pay the greater price both emotionally and spiritually.

It seems like common sense, yet the Word reminds us to value our friendships with this wisdom. “If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:10-12, NIV)  A band of brothers, we stand shoulder to shoulder.  Oh, that God would keep us connected and teach us to assign a higher priority to staying in our circle where there is safety.

When my children were young, I counseled them to choose friends wisely.  Those with whom we spend our time can lift us to higher heights or drag us into the pit. If you believe you are above peer pressure as an adult, think again!  Psalm 1 warns of spending inordinate amounts of time with mockers who reject God’s ways, sinners who live willfully, and the wicked who serve Self. Their attitudes will rub off on you. Disciples are called out of the world and into the Body of Christ.  It’s not that we refuse to be-friend those who are yet to come to faith in Christ, but we recognize that we need to join our heart with those who share our love of Jesus.  Jesus loved sinners!  So should we. But our closest friends must be friends of God.

Here’s a word from the Word.  “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. He who is full loathes honey, but to the hungry even what is bitter tastes sweet. Like a bird that strays from its nest is a man who strays from his home. Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one’s friend springs from his earnest counsel. Do not forsake your friend and the friend of your father, and do  not go to your brother’s house when disaster strikes you— better a neighbor nearby than a brother far away.” (Proverbs 27:6-10, NIV)

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Bind Us Together
There is only one God
There is only one King
There is only one body
That is why we can sing

Bind us together Lord
Bind us together with cords
That cannot be broken
Bind us together Lord
Bind us together Lord
Bind us together with love

Bob Gillman
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