Adulting!

I’m sure you have heard the word recently added to our vocabulary, adulting.  Younger people speak of “adulting” when they describe ordinary tasks of modern adulthood- maintaining a vehicle, preparing meals, paying bills, keeping house, or doing laundry.  Many were unprepared because their parents took care of those tasks all through their teens, even into their early 20’s.  The lure of childish irresponsiblity lurks just below the surface in most of us, doesn’t it? 

“It’s hot, forget mowing the lawn. Who cares?”   
“If I make that payment that is due, I can’t go out for dinner tonight. Forget it.”
“The indicator on the dash has notified me of an overdue oil change for a month, but who has time? Let it go to tomorrow.”
“Be a kid, live free.”

That might be a nice idea, but those who forget to ‘adult’ generally find their lives a real mess of piled up problems!  Unmaintained engines fail, costing thousands of dollars. Interest grows like a mushroom on ballooning credit card debt. A few weeds turns the front yard into a hayfield! A body fed too much junk goes soft and the seeds of health problems in mid-life are sown. A marriage neglected finally collapses under the weight of a hundred disappointments.

“Adulting” spiritually is much like the ordinary idea of the word. So many people want to know the joy of Christ and the promise of eternal life, but without the daily investment in spiritual nurture, without making service and worship a consistent priority choice.

An author whose writing is so formative in my life is Dallas Willard. He writes of the immaturity that is an epidemic in the American church. He points to the avoidance of hard things, of difficult choices, of self-denial as the root cause.  “It’s essential… that we accept the trials of ordinary existence as the place where we experience and find the reign of God-with-us as actual reality. We’re not to try to get in a position to avoid trials. And we’re not to catastrophize and declare the end of the world when things happen.”

One of the prime indicators of maturity, both in this life and in the life of the Spirit, is the ability to be steady, to get up after we are knocked down and move on, to take on life with purpose and hope, God helping us!

Paul wrote to Timothy urging him to ‘adult.’  The words are true for us, as well.  I’m quoting from a contemporary paraphrase of the Bible, called The Message.  “You’re going to find that there will be times when people will have no stomach for solid teaching, but will fill up on spiritual junk food—catchy opinions that tickle their fancy. They’ll turn their backs on truth and chase mirages. But you—keep your eye on what you’re doing; accept the hard times along with the good; keep the Message alive; do a thorough job as God’s servant.” (2 Timothy 4:3-5)

Let’s not make the mistake of chasing suffering for it’s own sake. We need not be like the medieval monks who lived on hard, cold stone slabs, who wore flea-infested clothing, who deprived themselves of creature comforts in vain attempts to ‘suffer with Christ.’  That kind of misery, as a means of spiritual growth, is a twisted expression of Self. The focus is not on Jesus, but on us!

However, WHEN we put Christ first in our choices, inviting Him to be Lord of life, we will find ourselves wrestling with the choices of the ‘narrow Way’ to which Jesus calls. That ‘suffering’ that results from intentionally saying “yes, Lord” and “no, Me” allows us to experience the joy of the Spirit as we grow in grace!

Strangely enough, sometimes spiritual maturity begins to take shape in our worst failures, when we truly begin to grasp our spiritual bankruptcy and embrace the grace of God in sheer desperation!

David knew the Lord God all of his life and wrote beautiful songs (Psalms) about Him. But, only after he had disgraced himself and failed God in the most miserable ways, did he discover something of the mercy and grace of the Lord. Only a man who truly understood his own depravity could write the song of Psalm 51. There we hear a man confess his brokenness and express his realization of the steadfast love of the Lord. He came to see that all his own religiosity and sacrifices were no substitute for a life of worship. “You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.” (Psalm 51:16-17, NIV)

Do you want to know the real Jesus and grow up spiritually?  Too many churches in America won’t be of much assistance in your quest. They’re too focused on keeping things light and happy, on helping people find the path to the American dream, and providing psychological explanations in place of spiritual transformation!

The core issues of sin and salvation, the centerpiece of grace – the Cross – while talked about are often not spoken about at much length. Confession is seldom mentioned.  Silence is unknown, replaced by endless happy songs that stir the emotions.  More likely you will find Jesus in the cancer wing of the hospital, in the place of forgotten service, or in the heart of the one who has struggled to trust Him through huge disappointment, in the person who has been rejected, or in that one who has learned to walk faithfully with Him in obscure places.

Let’s grow up. The paradox of ‘adulting’ is that when a person consistently lives responsibly and maturely, they find greater peace, stability, and rewards in life they could not have imagined existed in the daily decisions.

Meditate on this word from the Word. May it bring real change, deep commitment into being in us. “So let us stop going over the basics of Christianity again and again. Let us go on instead and become mature in our understanding. Surely we don’t need to start all over again with the importance of turning away from evil deeds and placing our faith in God.” (Hebrews 6:1, NLT) “No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it is painful! But afterward there will be a quiet harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.” (Hebrews 12:11, NLT)

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(Video of this blog at this link)

True-hearted whole-hearted

True-hearted whole-hearted faithful and loyal
King of our lives by Your grace we’ll stay true
Under Your standard exalted and royal
Strong in Your strength we will battle for You

Peal out the watchword and silence it never
Song of our spirits rejoicing and free
True-hearted whole-hearted now and for ever
King of our lives by Your grace we will be

True-hearted whole-hearted fullest allegiance
Yielding each day to our glorious King
Valiant endeavour and loving obedience
Freely and joyously now would we bring

True-hearted Saviour You know all our story
Weak are the hearts that we lay at Your feet
Sinful and treacherous yet for Your glory
Heal them and cleanse them from sin and deceit

True-hearted whole-hearted Saviour all glorious
Take Your great power and You reign alone
Over our wills and affections victorious
Freely surrendered and wholly Your own

Frances Ridley Havergal

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